Thursday, October 09, 2008

On Tap: At Vikings

My beloved Detroit Lions are going to Minnesota to play the Vikings this Sunday.

Today Offensive Coordinator Jim Colletto is failing to put together an offensive strategy that will allow the Lions to score enough to stay in the game, keep the defense off the field, and make it look as though Detroit has NFL-caliber players.

Today Defensive Coordinator Joe Barry will be unable to prepare the defense against Adrian Peterson and former Lions Quarterback Gus Frerotte. The strategy will be just to hand it off to Peterson because the Lions front seven will be overwhelmed by a team that has slightly above-average talent. Once Detroit figures by the 4th quarter to put eleven men in the box, then the Vikings will open it up. By then, Peterson will be out of the game with another astonishing 200+ yards rushing for the day.

Also today, Rod Marinelli will be exercising futility by "pounding the rock," because he simply is not good enough to coach at this level. This team will once again fail to score until after Minnesota has scored at least two touchdowns (and I'm being generous here - I really think it's three and a field goal). Marinelli will exercise futility because everyone has gotten off the boat and no one believes in the Tampa Two or whatever it is Colletto calls that "offense" of his.

Final prediction: Detroit 10, Minnesota 41. The Lions go 0-5.

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