Sunday, March 27, 2011

Chasing Ghosts and Gods

I've spent the better part of the last two years or so rethinking and re imagining my thoughts on God. You may call this daydreaming. For a while now, I've found myself fumbling towards atheism without ever accepting it as a truth.

Nobody can really be sure either way if God exists or not, and if so, what form. Is God an old white man in the sky (outer space, the universe, etc.), or is he a woman? Or is it even an anthropomorphic being? Very rarely does anyone ever hear God spoken of as an energy or an object.

I think it's all a waste of time to spend so much energy in trying to search for truth, especially when we live here on Earth. Earth is too small a place in this vast universe. And the universe is too small a place if you're an astrophysicist who thinks this universe is part of a larger multiverse.

Astronomy always leads me back to thinking about God. Where did the universe come? Does it have defined limits, or is it limitless? Was there really a "Big Bang?" Do I even believe in the Big Bang Theory?

Truth be told, I don't quite believe in the Big Bang Theory. I don't believe that there was nothing and then all of a sudden "Bang!" A hot gaseous atomic explosion that started as something less than a millimeter wide that has expanded for 13 billion+ years. I kind of think that the universe has always been there (or here), like it has no genesis. I also think that it just goes on to infinity, that there is no "edge" to the universe.

But I'm not an astronomer, just a daydreamer. I don't have to worry about being discredited in this area because I have no cred to begin with. For me, it's just my way of putting my brain on the treadmill.

(For what it's worth, I'm not a believer in Intelligent Design, Creationism, or even Young Earth Creationism - the difference between the 2nd and 3rd being that some Creationists believe God created the Earth and Heavens and then let Evolution set it in, whereas Young Earthers believe in the biblical accounts written in Genesis. More on this later.)

Needless to say, the size of the universe is beyond my imagination. That's the way my 5th grade teacher would describe astronomical bodies. Hell, the size of the Sun is beyond my imagination. I could only imagine what it would be like to be an astronaut that flies the first shuttle to approach Jupiter. Oh wait, I can't. It's beyond that.

But the whole size and scope of the universe (and multiverse) is beyond my imagination. Which makes me ponder if there's truly a God, then all that happens on Earth (the good, the bad, the rest) is so small and insignificant to the greater workings of the universe. Everything from prosperity to famine and euphoria to despair is simply meaningless in the grander context of the universe.

For everyone who credits God's graces for their fortunes, there are a smaller number of people who turn their backs to God, believing he's either cruel or doesn't exist, because a loving God wouldn't allow for such horrible things like war, disease, and poverty. But why does it have to be one way or the other? Rarely are alternatives to the two competing theories ever discusses.

Me personally, I've come to think that what happens on Earth is inconsequential because in a vast universe like ours, there has got to be life somewhere else. Just because we've never seen aliens from another world doesn't mean they don't exist. Hence, I can't be an atheist, because having not seen God, doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

Do you think on those other planets, there are all kinds of possibilities as to how they've evolved? Some worlds have created highly advanced, progressive civilizations while others haven't come out of a protoplasmic state and have remained that way for eons. There has to be millions of these types of outcomes all over the universe, and perhaps there are hundreds of thousands of different forms of life and civilization in our own Milky Way Galaxy.

Countless lives, outcomes, etc. So much to ponder. So much creativity for sci-fi writers to put this stuff altogether and make a book, movie, or TV series of it.

So maybe God is out there. Beyond all of this. Maybe it's not that he, she, it, or they care about the fortunes and misfortunes that happen to us; maybe what happens here on Earth, good or bad, is so inconsequential, that it is minute to whatever is the grand design of the cosmos.

Off to ponder more.

Lazy Blogger (Again)

Hmm, so after months away, I think I'm ready to start writing again. For a few months before I lose all interest in writing again and go on another 6-12 month hiatus.